What About The People Who Don't Like Sung Worship?

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Permalink Reply by Gav on 23 May 2008 at 3:52pm

good questions Phil.

firstly, of course its not wrong for them to dislike singing. worship is so much more than singing as we know. however, i think there may be deep roots for the reasons they dislike singing, they may dislike the musical style, they may be embarrassed about their voice, they may have trouble engaging with the idea that God is father due to something in their past. or maybe they feel uncomfotable singing more sensual songs, like i love you lord for example. typically men dislike singing more than women (have you read why men hate going to church by the way, great book on this!). ive never found anyone who doesnt like some music of some kind tho.

i think we need to be sensitive to them in our services. not that we dont sing, but we maybe do some teaching about worship and what singing means. or maybe we ask them to chose some hymns/songs they do like once in a while. or maybe we dont repeat songs so much!

i dunno really, good topic tho!

God bless,
gav.

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Permalink Reply by Diane Luna on 23 May 2008 at 4:54pm

I'm the kind of person who pretty much takes the bible verbatim - meaning, if it says to sing, then out of obedience I'd better sing! But I know people who are uncomfortable singing around others, and also people who dont like music styles. I've seen churches split over music style! But I feel that the Sunday gatherings should be attended as obedience to God, and avoiding the singing is probably a bit reflective of a wrong attitude. Gav makes some very good points as to why people might have a wrong thought or attitude about singing. For me, I personally love the singing time and it really drew me to God when I was at that place of initial surrender in my life. Still does the same. But I'm a musician and artsy person. Maybe others just don't like music?

Do you think the specific people you are referring to would prefer older hymns? Or spoken word type thing? Do you have any hunch why the specific persons you are thinking of might dislike the singing? My aunt once told me she gets bugged by the modern songs with so much repetition.

Possibly the persons who are resistant to the singing in church are resistant to God in other areas of their life? More surrender of the heart would be good for them?

I don't think we should quit the songs, though.

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Permalink Reply by Mike Kerslake on 25 May 2008 at 8:54pm

From time to time I've met people who genuinely find sung worship difficult to connect with for a variety of reasons - lack of confidence in their singing ability, lack of inspiration from music generally, dislike of the styles of music or choice of songs, dislike of levels of volume (especially some older people who find loud noise painful), distraction from worship through poor quality of musicianship, etc, etc.

Diane is quite right in pointing out that [we are] musicians and artsy people. Consequently we have a natural inclination towards music as a worship tool. But I believe it's really important that we approach the worship-leading ministry with servant hearts. Our role is to help others to worship Jesus. We do this by providing an environment that enables others to release the worship that is within them. Typically we do this by inviting them to sing a song - that's what we feel comfortable with. But we have failed as their servants if that is not actually what would enable them to release their worship.

Yes, I'm sure some people don't join in the worship through a bad heart attitude, but if that is born out of frustration of years of attending church where the worship is never geared to their (non-musical) preference, is that really entirely their fault? Others do try to take part and dutifully sing songs they don't like... I'm sure Jusus is delighted with their commitment and perseverence but these people are entitled to a share in the joy and blessing as well! If we make worship hard work for them, week in, week out, we are not serving the church properly; in the extreme, we risk displaying selfishness and arrogance in forcing others to adopt our preferences.

But Diane's opening remark is also valid - if the Bible tells us to sing, we'd better do it!!! However, we need to wrestle a bit with why it says this, not least because we've been given the responsibility to interpret this instruction on the behalf of our churches. My view is this: Music, for most people, is a great way to connect with your emotions - and hence release worship when the right music / words are provided in the right context. Also, singing together is a way of bonding the body together - we simultaneously express a common belief and are built up by so doing. The songs are also a way of reinforcing our theology - the words of a theologically sound song stick in the mind, welded in place by the melody that goes with them.

So - yes, music should rightly be a central part of our worship. But as worship leaders we have a responsibility to recognise that not all songs work for all worshippers, and we should always seek ways to make worship accessible to all those present, musos or otherwise.

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Permalink Reply by Phil Williams on 25 May 2008 at 8:57pm

Hi Mike - thanks for these wise words - very helpful and interesting. Phil

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Permalink Reply by martyn burt on 23 May 2008 at 4:56pm

I agree with what Gav has just said. Indeed I know of someone who would often only join the service once the music was over, and would leave again before the end as she disliked it so much. In the last year as we have gone even more contemporary she has found it to be too much for her and she has joined a more traditional church fellowship in our town. It is interesting as she houseshares with one of our worship leaders!

For her, it was that as a child she was forced to play piano as a child and she struggled. I get the impression her father was a bit demanding and she has hated music ever since.

I can understand her viewpoint - there are certain things we do in church I don't like (I struggle with the 'corporate prayers' such as 'we pray for the government....' as I don't think they mean anything or are specific enough for me, yet I love to pray for people in say ministry time), but I live with it.

In our church (and many others no doubt) we have lots of people who think the music is too modern and not traditional enough and the music is too loud. For some, they live with it and just realise it is not quite for them, but if God uses it to bring glory, they will go along with it!

I agree, often teaching would help, rather than criticism.

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Permalink Reply by Jamie Whitten on 23 May 2008 at 5:47pm

hi phil, great topic!

as you said, the bible says to sing so i think it's about obedience.

i've been fortunate enough that so far everyone in our congregation seems to enter in to sung worship. some have made positive and negative comments on the music style but out of obedience and love for jesus, they still sing.

i have been to some services where i don't like the style but i have found a place of worship because god is there! i think if paul could sing worship while chained up in a prison cell, then we should be able to get over smaller obstacles such as music style, whether we like singing and being embarassed about our voice.

gav makes some excellent points though, we need to be sensitive to people who struggle with singing and encourage them perhaps with teaching on worship. I've found that people often sing louder if the band is loud (but not deafening) as they can belt it out without being heard by all in the room!

thanks for bringing this up phil. it got me thinking!

jamie

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Permalink Reply by Steve Lane on 23 May 2008 at 6:33pm

Hi everyone - well you've got people thinking with this one Phil...............

We have a very mixed church - age ranges form a few month to well into the 80's. This in turn means that there are different reactions with each service depending on songs used.

In general I have found everyone to be at least tollerent of the new songs, especially as it's usually me or our minister who tries to bring them in. We have four worship leaders (or lead worshippers - whatever you want to call us) of which my minister and I are two. Anyway...........

We have been through periods when people have made it very clear they are unhappy about the style of music that is being used. We have always tried to be sensitive to peoples feelings but first and foremost I believe us to be answerable to God and as such (and as I am sure is true of anyone else who is leading) I lay down everything I have coinsidered, planned and/or rehearsed before the service, before Him. In doing so I truly believe that God, through His Holy Spirit, will prompt me in new directions if I am trying to lead people "up the garden path" (or just the wrong way).

Does that then make me insensitive to people who do not like what is being sung? Yes in some respects it could be argued that it does. But I believe my first responsibility is to God and when I worship (and in this context I mean singing and playing music) I do so fully focused on Him.

If that sounds arrogant then it is truly not meant to be and if you knew me in the flesh then you would know that really is not in my nature. It is just that I am so passionate about worshiping the God that has done every good thing imaginable for me/us.

I agree with other comments that have been made about this subject. Teaching on true worship always brings greater understanding. Getting alongside people and understanding what is "wrong" (in their view) with the worship allows you to question what you are doing or have done, and just check that it was of God. That doesn't mean you have to change but it does mean that you review.

Finally I am blessed in our church to have a great leadership team (we don't have deacons and elders) under who's authority I sit both as a worship leader and as the treasurer. I and the worship team fully submit to their authority and as such if we were really out of step with God and what He wanted I have no doubt that the leaders would make us aware and redirect our efforts and that we would listen and respond to that.

Above all else I would encourage everyone to focus on God and to keep worshipping Him and not let yourselves/ourselves be distracted by issues that in all probablity we have no control over anyway.

God Bless

Steve

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Permalink Reply by Acts7 on 23 May 2008 at 10:06pm

All very good points. I heard Jason Upton speaking on a similar topic that has been brought up. When people are so focused on the music style or songs they want.
Jason speaks of a church he visited where they kept putting his song "let the fire fall" on the screen. Even though he had given them a set list. He says how he had to basically stop the service and say, "Im sorry I think we are off track here, could you please put on .. {song}"

You can cave to the wishes of others, but if God has not called you to do so, you should never be compelled by persons wishes.

Back to more on topic, I don't think its wrong to not like the "song" portion. It has been approached from the angle - perhaps there is something wrong in their life. But it could also be a season or time they are learning "be still and know that I am God"

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Permalink Reply by Mike Lees on 25 May 2008 at 11:27pm

Hi Phil - good question that has sparked some interesing discussion. I agree with a lot of the points here. Everyone is different, and there will be many reasons that people can find it difficult to engage with musical worship and singing. People going through a time of healing, where the music and worship is bringing hurts to light, and some for whom musical worship and singing just doesn't work for them are a couple of reasons that spring to mind.

We had a youth leader at church, who by his own admission, musical worship and singing just doesn’t work for him. Once, he ran an alternative worship service, involving different ways of worshipping not involving music or singing, e.g. meditating on scripture, poetry and song lyrics, making things, watching DVDs of nature programmes etc. At that service, I felt God’s presence and worshipped as much as any “normal” service with music, so I can agree that worship is so much bigger than music and singing.

Although there are various exhortations in both the old and new testament to praise God with songs and singing, I think we need to take these in the context of grace versus law found in the new testament. If we make these into a law for everyone – then I think we've kind of missed the point of grace!

As worship leaders we need to have our focus on God, but be sensitive to our congregations, and also recognise that we can't please everyone. I agree with the point about having the right volume level so that people can feel free to join in (or not) without being self-conscious about their voice being heard.

God bless,

Mike.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Clemo on 26 May 2008 at 4:01pm

I know this is a site for musicians involved with sung worship- but if you agree that our role is to "create a background and foundation for God's people to express themselves to Him in song" (Alex Robertson "Playing with Fire" Barrett Ministries 1996"
Then you may have to accept that not everyone needs music in order to worship God.
I've had similar or related discussions with Christians regarding spontaneous prayer. Some people prefer that the prayer has been written down beforehand.
I'm OK with that. The Holy Spirit can inspire the writer as much as the speaker.
Different people express themselves in different ways. Dance and banners don't do it for me, and to be honest, drama doesn't either.
But they work for some people.
Surely our role is to be the best that we can be for those who need/enjoy sung worship?
And always show grace.

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Permalink Reply by Graham Boler on 26 May 2008 at 9:34pm

Great question and many good answers. We have tried to tackle this issue a number of times while addressing the growing worship life of our church. A long while back we began dual services - same message but one "traditional" and one "modern" (these are the easiest terms for people to grasp). Both congregations have grown, but out of our discussions we did hear from people for whom no music was preferable.

Worship is a broad term for which music is only one offering. It becomes dominant because it is the easiest way for many to express deep emotions which otherwise have no outlet. Preferences of style are inevitable as a result, because we are more at ease with more familiar music. However, there are some for whom there is no emotional connection in music. It is then not dislikes or preferences but possibly an unpleasant experience. I might feel the same if the church insisted on eating cheese pie every Sunday. It becomes something to avoid.

We now have a regular "holy space" service which involves no music (or sermon!), but I still don't think we take this issue seriously enough.

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Permalink Reply by Tino Todino on 27 May 2008 at 3:18pm

Good question Phil.

I feel that pretty much most responses to this thread have echoed my thoughts on the matter.

However I will say this:

"It is not our task to make people worship, whether that be in song or another other way"

All we can do as worship leaders is lead people (who want to follow) to respond to the presence of the Lord Jesus as we worship Him. How individuals respond or don't respond is between them and the Father and is beyond or call IMO.

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